The Further End-Times Adventures Of Verb McCracken,” “The Sardines,” Chapter 4d, Part 4 “Let’s Get Tall”

They got locked up.  I told the good lieutenant about my interviews and he agreed.  Their alibis didn’t hold up.  That along with the sighting by the Smyrnan youth group was enough to put them away.  I couldn’t explain to Lieutenant Lapsarian that they’d be getting perfect justice in just a few years when the […]

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The Further End-Time Adventures Of Verb McCracken: Chapter 5c, The Sardines, Part 3, “Mystery Solved”

Hey, I’ve read Sherlock Holmes.  I should be able to solve this murder.  I know who did it.  I know it was Chuy and Pedo.  I just have to prove it. I’ll get that nasty duo to incriminate themselves.  It should be simple. The problem is to separate those two.  I don’t want them to […]

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The Further End-Time Adventures Of Verb McCracken: Chapter 5b, The Sardines, Part 2, “Munchkins”

I don’t know if she got pushed or she jumped.  I’m pretty sure she was pushed.  Her name was Grace, a blue-eyed blonde.  Pretty.  Actually, beautiful in her twenties.  She was an aspiring actress. Why do I think she was pushed?  She had everything to live for.  She had no reason to leap.  She was […]

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The Further End-Times Adventures Of Verb McCracken: The Sardines, Part 1, “Small People”

I saw a cartoon the other day.  It was a depiction  of the pearly gates.  A really large guy was being judged by a diminutive angel.  The angel said, “Randy Newman, eh?”   Get it?  Randy Newman was famous for writing the song Short People.  Luckily, we don’t get judged at the Gates (see the […]

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The Further End-Times Adventures Of Verb McCracken,” “Twisted In Thyatira,” Chapter 4c, Part 3 “Amen!”

I got up to speak on Sunday.  Wasn’t I surprised?  They all stood to applaud!  Maybe they appreciated me after all. I had been kicked out just a few years earlier.  Nevertheless, I had to speak some tough words to them.   I didn’t start with a joke.  They had already heard them all.  And […]

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